If We Allow It
by Star-Speckled Dragon
Summary: "Fortunately for us, it is immortal... But only if we allow it to be." A terrible accident has left Starfire on the brink of death, and Robin feels that he is to blame. Will he lose hope? Oneshot. Written for the WETTFC.


To be honest, I'm not even sure how I managed to come up with this story. It was written for teentitansrobstar's annual WETTFC competition, which basically prompted entrants to write a fanfiction starting with the phrase "It was like the sunrise, unstoppable, unchangeable, but incredibly beautiful..." (Yes, I know my first sentence is tweaked a little; that was allowed.) I looked at the phrase and thought, "Hmm, that sounds very poetic. I bet I could use that to set up a story theme!" And from there, I somehow ended up with this very dark fanfic (**-spoiler-** although it does have a happy ending **-endspoiler-**).

This was kind of an experiment for me for a few reasons: I had to write a fiction work by a certain deadline, it has a much darker mood than my usual stories, and it was my first ever story written in first person but not in my own point of view. All in all, it was a good experience :) Anyway, enough of my blabbering - On with the fanfiction!

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**If We Allow It**

It is like the sunrise, unstoppable, unchangeable, but incredibly beautiful. It is invisible and intangible, and yet we feel it moving through us, and more often than we realize, it is vital to our survival. Fortunately for us, it is immortal – but only if we allow it to be.

_Hope_. The word echoed through my mind, amidst words of encouragement I myself had once given. _That's the point. As long as we're still here, we still have a chance._*

My throat tightened. _As long as we're still here_… That was the problem. Little could I have guessed that all of Raven's past talk of demons and doom and Armageddon couldn't even compare with what she now said, in barely more than an apologetic whisper.

"I've done everything I can, but her injuries are serious. I… I don't even know if she'll survive the night."

0 0 0 0 0

We were stunned into silence as Raven came out of the sick bay, closing the door softly behind her. The deep worry etched into her normally expressionless face was unnerving. After a few agonizing moments, I finally spoke.

"That bad."

It wasn't a question, and the others knew it; we had been afraid of this ever since the incident.

Beast Boy looked around at the rest of us. "Well, couldn't we try taking her to the hospital or somethin'? Maybe a doctor could –"

But Raven was already shaking her head. "You're forgetting that Starfire isn't human. My magic could only do so much for an unfamiliar anatomy, and a doctor would be able to help even less."

"Oh. Right." The shapeshifter's ears drooped as he hung his head in defeat.

It was too much for me to bear. Sucking in a breath, I slammed a fist into the wall behind me.

"This is all my fault," I hissed.

Cyborg looked over at me with a frown. "What are you talking about, Robin? Of course it isn't."

I shook my head, half wishing that the movement would scatter the painful memory. "Don't try to deny it. If I had just been paying attention – if I hadn't been so _stupid_ – none of this would have happened!"

Silence again. They knew I was right, and they couldn't think of anything to say that might comfort or encourage me. What could they say?

I sunk to the floor with a groan, burying my face in my hands so that the others wouldn't see the tears that were beginning to dampen my mask.

0 0 0 0 0

After what felt like an hour, but must have only been a few minutes, Beast Boy at last broke the deafening silence.

"So, what do we do now?"

Raven sighed. "We wait, and let her rest. Right now, that's all we can do."

"That, and hope for the best," Cyborg added.

_Hope_. There was that word again. My jaw clenched. I wasn't sure what to think anymore… After hearing that my best friend could be dying, I just didn't know if I had any hope left.

"Robin."

I looked up to see Cyborg standing over me, a concerned look on his face. "We should all get some rest. Especially you."

Looking around, I saw that Raven and Beast Boy were already leaving the room. It was late at night by that time; we probably would have all been asleep by then had it not been for the accident.

I stood up, thinking for a moment.

"With Starfire in such bad condition, somebody needs to watch her in case things start to get worse," I resolved. "I'll go first." _It's the very least I could do, after what happened._

At first Cyborg looked like he was about to argue, but he could tell that he wasn't going to change my mind. Finally, he nodded.

"All right. I'll come up and take over in a little bit," the half-robot replied before slipping though the door behind his teammates.

I stared out after them for a long moment, and then sighed and turned back to the other door – the one leading to the sick bay. As I pushed it open, the memory of the accident again flooded my mind, agonizingly fresh.

_We didn't even recognize the robotic monster. It must have only recently been built and unleashed upon the city, or perhaps escaped from who-knows-where. Whatever its origins, the thing that we had dubbed "Nightwalker" (It had no voice with which to declare its name) was stalking through the city on four spindly legs and smashing its hulk of a body into whatever building happened to be in its way when we arrived at the scene._

_After managing to lure it away from the narrow city streets and onto an open field, we still hadn't figured out how to stop Nightwalker's destructive antics completely. No matter what Raven threw at the monstrosity or how many times Cyborg or Starfire blasted it, its thick metal covering protected its body. At length, however, I noticed a weak point._

"_Titans, aim for the legs!" I ordered. "If we can trip it, I think we can bring it down!"_

_Beast Boy immediately took the form of a rhinoceros and charged into one of the legs, forcing it out from under the robot and causing it to totter. The other three and I quickly followed suite with our own attacks. It wasn't long before Nightwalker began to buckle under its own weight; the legs were so much thinner than the rest of the body that the barrage had managed to damage and weaken them until they could no longer support it._

_I jumped back and watched the robot hobble about as it tried to hold itself up. I was so caught up in watching the body tip and sway that I didn't even notice the thickening shadow that loomed up behind me._

"_Robin!"_

_The next thing I knew, I had been hurled ten feet away. With a groan of pain, I looked up – just in time to see one of the robot's feet drive Starfire into the ground, at the very spot where I had been standing. I could only watch in horror as the monster leaned heavily onto that leg before finally toppling over._

"_NOOOO!"_

I paused in the doorway and squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, trying to push the memory as far back in my mind as I could before I stepped into the room.

Starfire was unconscious, as she had been ever since the accident. She lay in a small hospital-style bed, hooked up to a number of monitors while a ventilator aided her shallow breathing. She had no visible cuts (Whether Raven had healed them all or she hadn't received any in the first place I didn't know), but what I could see of her torso and upper arms were covered in deep purple bruises.

My throat tightened again. _She saved my life_, I thought numbly. I would have been crushed under that much pressure; she had survived the impact because her Tamaranean body was built sturdy enough to withstand and even lift massive amounts of force. Even so, she had been pushed past her limit, and now there was a chance that she was going to…

I shook my head. It would be better not to complete that thought.

I sat down in a chair beside the bed and listened for a few long moments to the steady _beep…beep_ of the monitors. My eyes began to well up with tears again, and after a minute I hung my head.

"This is all my fault, Star," I muttered. "I'm so sorry."

"No…"

I looked up, surprised. "Starfire?"

The Tamaranean's eyes had opened, tired but alert. She turned her head a little to meet my gaze.

"Do not apologize, Robin," she said, her voice weak. "I did what was needed to save you. I would not have made any other choice."

"But…" I swallowed. "But if I had just been a little more careful, I wouldn't have even needed saving."

Starfire smiled. "That happens sometimes. We are heroes, Robin. We have a dangerous job."

When I didn't reply, she continued, "Do not worry about me. My people are resilient."

I looked at her, a bit startled by the conviction in her voice. Despite the bruises covering her skin and the no-doubt painful injuries that lay beneath, her eyes were bright – fiery, even. She was stronger than I had ever realized, and she was determined to pull through.

I took a deep breath. _If Starfire isn't going to give up, then neither will I_. At that moment, the hope that had eluded me for so long returned in full force. I suddenly realized that right then, that hope was all we really needed. Smiling for the first time since the accident, I stood up and took my teammate's hand in mine.

"You're going to be okay, Star. I know it."

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*This is a quote from the episode _The End (Part II)_

Yay for floofy, probably-cheezy endings! :B -brick'd- Errm, anyway, there you have it! Overall, I think I did a pretty good job on this. I hope you do, too! Please don't forget to leave a review; they make me happy.

_Now that this is done, I think I'll lay off the oneshots for a little while and get back to my sorely neglected chapter stories..._


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